WELCOME NOVEMBER...

AH.. so lets update my life i guess. I will be home in 25 days. I am soooo ready to go. I know its only for 5 days. but then I will be back in about 2 1/2 - 3 weeks. but I just need to go home as of right now. my last few days have been the craziest ever.

Right now:

I am feeling hecka sad because i am in my dorm room alone & i live w/ a party of 7.. & NO ONE is here. i mean i often times enjoy me peace & quiet. time alone. but right now IS NOT one of those times where i need to be alone. lik.. just the comfort of someone being close by. i dont need to talk to them or anything.. just knowing that i am not here alone & someone is close by. ugh. its times lik this when i just wanna pick up the phone, dial his number & use his voice to calm me. & make me feel protected. but nooo... whenever i'm havin' hard times & i want him.. i cant have him.

WHICH SUCKS. what is there to do when one is all alone?? ugh. this is when i always question myself why i dont have many friends?? i have them.. but very limited. mind yu, i do love the ones i have. but sometime i want more more more. but of course. we always want more when we cant have it.. or want something or someone when we know we cant have them. ugh.

HALLOWEEN 2008:

SUCKED.

ugh. gosh. i dont even wanna bring this issue up but its a part of my life & its going NO WHERE. so i might as well vent about it. not in detail but ugh. it is definitely a night to remember. & i'm always here for my friends & those that i care about. but yu know.. sometime when i need someone to be here for me. NO ONE IS HERE. the person i expect the most out of let me down. ugh. its just like that i guess. its all goodie though. so ah. yeah.. tomorrow i am going to church & i'm sure i will come out of there feeling lik a way better person than i do right now.

okay so. ah.. people are finally here & i finally feel a sense of relief.. so i guess i am headed to shower & bed now & expect a better day tomorrow than the past few days have been.

XOXO.

E.SHELLE.