Another YEAR down

Hello World,

Here I am again, months & months later, but i am here. Just checking in, saying hello, & updating you on whats new. I am ending my 2nd year of college. Its been one to definitely remember. At the end of 1st semester I changed my major and here it is, the end of 2nd semester and I must say that I am pretty content w/ my change of major. I am much happier and a lot less stressed!. First semester was killer for me, I did the worst that I've ever done, but trust me, I made a turnaround this semester & a lot has changed. Mostly for the better and I am very thankful for that. I give all credit to God who has helped me along this journey and continues my life journey everyday. Without Him NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in this life / world would be possible for any of us. I am now a new outlook on life and a lot of my personal decisions. I feel so much better about a lot of things.

When I go back and read my old blogs it really does something to me, because I notice that change in myself, my life, and everything that was going on w/ me from then up until now. I know I don't update often or as often as I like, but when I do come back to update, there's always so much that as changed.

As this semester is coming to an end, I must say that I am beyond EXCITED. I was able to accomplish another year of my college education. I thank God once again, because I know it is Him who keeps me motivated to continue and always strive to do my best. When I have thoughts of wanting to give up or find myself lacking motivation, it is quickly restored because I know I have soo many reasons to be thankful. I wish all of my peers the best of luck as this semester ends and that we all have a safe summer & return to Reno safely for yet another school year. I am also pretty excited that many ppl closet to me will be graduating from college next year and moving into the next phase of life. That is truly a blessing. I love them all.

Still no love life, but that is perfectly fine with me. Why? Because I am still young, pursing my education, living life, & just wanting to have fun right now. I have enough wonderful girls in my circle to keep me occupied and living a GRAND LIFEE ; who needs a man when you have GREAT FRIENDS. Thats how I see things. He will arrive in due time, no rush there !. :D - might be a different story nxt time I blog b/c who knows when that will be . -

I've updated my life, refreshed the old, introduced some new and moving on. I hope you all have a BLESSED summer and whatever it is you are doing in life that it remains blessed and you always keep & put God first in everything you do. iLOVEmylifee <3>


XOXO
E.SHELLE .

And it comes to an END

The year is almost over, but overall, thee SEMESTER is over !! i am soooo HAPPY for that .. it has been a long rough semester & it was time for it to end . i am READY [ or so i think ] nxt semester . NEW MAJOR . NEW CLASSES . NEW JOBS . && A NEW ME .. hopefully a NEW BOO too but if NOT then thats fine too .. the boo will DEFINITELY be in Vegas b/c i CNT handle any of those Reno ppl .. they are just too YUCK !!!.

CURRENTLY : i am HOME.SWEET.HOME w/ my family [ auntee , madre , & padre ] grandparents will be here nxt week . but ugh this might be a looonnnggg month b/c i want thee parentals to act & continue w/ their routines as they would when i am at school. DONT stay up waiting on me to come home. DONT be always calling me when i'm out. DON'T be questioning my every move && always askn' where i'm going .. all that is UNNECESSARY ; i appreciate the concern, but i am GROWN . i'm on my own for about 8 months out of the yr ; i think i cn handle it .. i'm a BIG GIRL . thnx . but anway : glad to be around them but i do miss my INDEPENDENT LIFEE .


so anway : this is DEFINTIELY thee last BLOG OF 09' .. SOO SEE YA'LL AGAIN IN 2010 !!! whoo hoo ..

XOXO.

E.SHELLE iLOVEmylifee

NOVEMBER UPDATE

Hello World,

So my last update was in August, soo here we are 3 months later, November && so much has changed. My major is NO LONGER Biology. This 3rd semester of college and these classes have exposed me to a lot and made me realize that what I was once interested in is no longer an interest of mine. Next semester I will be a Social Work major w/ a Minor in Addictions Treatment. I have had enough Science && Math. They are not my passion. I wanted to be a Pharmacist, yess 6 figures a yr sounds great, but the road to get there is not interesting to me. I rather be HAPPY making a comfortable salary than making BIG BUCKS && doing something that I'm really not interested in. This semester has been really stressful, I will be soooo glad when its over & I have lost soo much motivation towards school && that is DEFINITELY NOT a good thing. I just want to be happy. But on thee brighter side of life ..

THEE GROWING UP OF E.SHELLE

i will be 20 yrs old in 10 days. soo crzy. i will NO LONGER be a teenager. Pretty amazing. but i must admit that 20 yrs old is just such an odd age to me !! lol . why might u ask? its just lik ; i'm in thee middle again. at 18 i was able to buy cigar products if i chose too. but now i still hv to wait until another yr to really party / buy alcohol !. although 19 is in the middle too, its not as weird as 20 b/c 21 is soo close yet soo far away at the same time. but i am all thee yet excited. but w/ age brings me to being wiser. more adult-like. having / taking on more responsibilities, and one step close to the WOMAN my mother has always been teaching me to be.

i am watching my young cousins. "sisters". & friends grow up right b4 my eyes. its kind of scary. && seeing my brother grow quickly is crazy too !. he is already 4 . i remember when he was just 4 mos old . wow right .

but to say thee least ; i will be going home in 5 days. staying for a week. bak in RENO for 2 weeks . & then bak home for a whole month. I get to spend Christmas w/ Auntee Mo && thee grandparentals . quite stoked about that !.

HOPE I'M BAK BEFORE NEXT YEAR . 2010.

2 YRS CLOSER TO "SCHEDULED" GRADUATION.

BUT W/ LOVE && HAPPY GREETINGS !!

LOVE U ALL .

E.SHELLE

MONTHS LATER !.

LOL ; so yeah clearly I rarely blog anymore ; somewhat I've forgetten about it. okay so ; i must say that TODAY 8.18.09 marks a new day for me !. lmao.. I decided to read my old blogs because I haven't been on in such a long time && while reading them I ran across a many blogs about the once LOML !. lol soo funny because i NO LONGER feel that way at all. All those blogs where I once expressed how much I loved him & was soo thankful for him; oh wow !. Lmao somewhat close to a joke lol . && I know today is a new day because while reading those old posts I didn't get the feeling in my heart to want him back or wonder why we didn't work or what we can do to make it work. Lol to say thee least; the feeling is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! lol thnk you; its definitely about time. I've been waiting on this day for such a long time now & it is finally here so I say nothing more than I am happy! Okay so anyway ; enough about that guy ..

MOVING RIGHT ALONG ;

It is now my second of college. Go me; made it to my sophomore year! Must say that the first year was definitely an experience to remember. Gained some friends ; lost some .. it was great! But thats fine with me because I've always been the type who doesn't need / want alot of friends! Fine by me! Just alot has changed between freshman year to now ; but I must say that I am super ready for this year. I will & must always stay focused because I have all science & math classes this year. No time for BS & time to not go to class.

SHOUT OUT TO EVERYONE GOING TO SCHOOL & MAKING POSITIVE MOVES. CONGRATULATIONS & BE BLESSED.

XOXO.

E.SHELLE <3

NUMB

WOW MAN . I HAVE NOT WRITTEN ONE OF THESE IN AGES . & REASON .. I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL, GETTING OVER PAST RELATIONSHIPS, MAKING NEW FRIENDSHIPS, AND BEING FOCUSED MY SECOND SEMESTER OF COLLEGE ..

BUT AS I SIT & MAKE A REALIZATION , I BEGIN TO THINK / WONDER WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NUMB & HAVE NO EMOTIONS AT ALL .. I GUESS ITS B/C I'M HUMAN & A FEMALE & HUMANS HAVE FEELINGS .. ESPECIALLY FEMALES . WE CAN'T INVOLVE OURSELVES WITHOUT INVOLVING OUR FEELINGS ..

THIS ISN'T SO MUCH ABOUT INVOLVING FEELINGS JUST LIK .. WHY CAN'T I NOT INVOLVE ANYTHING . JUST GO DAY BY DAY & BE NUMB TO THE WORLD AROUND ME . FEEL WHAT I WANT TO FEEL & EVERYTHING I DONT WANT TO FEEL CAN JUST GO AROUND ME OR I CAN GO RIGHT THRU IT ..

&& LATELY, MY FRIENDS HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT I SLEEP ALOT .. BUT AS I SIT HERE & THINK . I HAVE AN ANSWER FOR THEM . I SLEEP SOO MUCH B/C WHEN I'M SLEEP I DON'T THINK ABOUT WHAT IS TRUE AT HAND . REALITY OF SITATIONS OR WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON !. I CAN SLEEP & EVERYTHING JUST GOES MY WAY . I DEVELOP FANTASIES THAT I HOPE ONEDAY BECOME REALITIES .. MAN .. IF ONLY ..

QUICK VENT SESSION ..

HOPE TO RETURN SOONER ..

And it has been sooo LONG

Hello World!. I hope all is well & preparing yourselves for the HOLIDAY SEASON!. HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!!!!! My Thanksgiving & Birthday were both great!. I ate good, partied good & loved being home!. I had a blast w/ family & REAL FRIENDS!. Being aways has shown me how much I miss them all.. being home was a GREAT FEELING!. But as the date shows.. I haven't blogged in such a looooong time!. So w/ that being said... UPDATES:

My first semester of college is OVER!. I took my last final on Saturday. Will be turing in my

English paper tomorrow & then heading out to the airport!.

Back to HOME-SWEET-HOME!!.

Going back home is one of thee BEST feelings in thee world!!.

i love it!.

I MISSED MY MOMMIE. BROTHER. DADDY. & OTHERS!.

&

they all MISSED me as well!.

So... w/ that being said!.

Tomorrow will be my last day in Reno for a month!. I am sure I will {might} miss this place!.

but...

I AM GOING HOME!.

XOXO.

E.SHELLE.

Confusion causes STRESS

Being confused and having soo many thoughts running through the mind only creates more & more stress for a person. I have been doing fine w/ the whole situation between me & LOMLF, like i have continued to smile & have not been my usual self of always crying & fighting.. all that nonsense. So to say the least, I think I am actually growing up which is a good thing. Not only to say that I have others who support me & encourage me & be there for me to get it all out!. But now .. I think I have created a new dilemma for myself. What am I going to do about school...

I'm not at the school of my dreams.. or where I wanted to be because of financial issues; granted, everything does happen for a reason. But I had my heart set on attending Howard University for the fall 08' to only have to make a choice; either sacrifice coming home for holidays because of cost of attendance or go to school closer to home & family & be able to come home. Well of course I chose to go to school closer rather than having my family in a bad situation right. Okay so now, I am here!. But since I got here, I had already made up my mind that I would stay for 2 or 3 yrs & then transfer to UA for their pharmacy program/college. But recently sitting here thinking about what I do & do not have HERE. I have been contemplating to speed up the transfer process & leave fall 09'... but yet again finances come into play. Going from paying close to nothing for school to.. ah. lets say a little less than $30,000. & I FOR SURE DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK HOME. I will stay HERE before I go back home, granted, home would save me more money, I would have a job, & a car. But am I willing to sacrifice?? Seems as if I would be back tracking in my life instead of moving forward. But I have seen.. those who stayed home for 4 yrs. graduated & then moved on & also those who have... gone away for 4 yrs & then went back home. But I just dont think leaving & going back would be soo safe!. Idk. so Right now.. i am confused & i knw it is going to soon turn to stress & fustration. ugh which i want neither. So until next time I guess. I am going to give myself some time to think about it & talk to my family & she what conclusions & agreements we can all come to!.

XOXO.

E.SHELLE.